Now that’s going to far . . .

Jesus predicts his death again, and not only his death, but that one of the 12 would betray him. I imagine that at least one of the disciples was thinking something like this, "He has really got to stop this death ideation, thinking all the time he is going to die. You know what they say about self fulfilled prophecy; he is going to bring this on himself." Or another might have thought, "What kind of political leader – King is this? Some Messiah he turns out to be. What a defeatist." One disciple does act on his internal "thinking." Judas sells Jesus out for a bag of money.

So, here's what I find so remarkable about this story. In the middle of one the most wrenching experiences we face as human beings, being betrayed by a friend, Jesus knelt in complete and utter vulnerability, and served everyone, including his betrayer by washing their feet. Amazing! Everything cries out in my flesh, "Lord, you've got to be kidding, that is going to far!" Jesus' act of vulnerable servant hood in the face of betrayal completely "slays" me. He models and instructs us who follow him, to die to self in a similar fashion. I know that God has much work to do in me because what Jesus did is the last thing I would ever think of doing when I am in the middle of being betrayed by a friend.

Lord, thank You for washing my feet when I have betrayed you by thought or action.  Teach me, change me, and grow me to the place where living vulnerable servant hood like you becomes the first thing I think or do, and not the last. Ann

Confused but Focused

Today's reading includes Jesus' teaching regarding the end times. Eschatology, or the study of the end times, has always been for me, (since becoming a follower of Jesus 39 years ago) a difficult area to grasp. I've never been a big Sci-Fi reader and much of the descriptive language of eschatology reminds me of Sci-Fi literature which confuses me. Sometimes when I get confused by the imagery or the order of events I start on a downward cycle that ends in despair and faithlessness. It starts out with me feeling like I should throw my hands up in the air and scream, "I give up. This is too hard for me. I will never get this stuff. I am a bad follower of Christ. I should understand this better. Why do you make this so difficult to understand Jesus? Why don't you make this clearer? Why do you intentionally speak in obscurities? Jesus, you are not a very good teacher . . ." Do you hear and see my downward cycle? I end up "judging" myself and God. Often, folks tell me that they have similar experiences with the Scripture in other areas, like the parables or the long lists of laws in Leviticus. So, here is what Jesus has been teaching me to do so I don't end up in a place of despair and faithlessness. As I am reading, whenever I come across something I don't understand, I tell Jesus about it and ask that He would lead me into a complete understanding in His timing. I choose at that moment to place my trust in Jesus and not my abilities. As I have time, I read commentaries and talk to others who love eschatology and have spent oodles of time studying it, to glean from their wisdom so I might grow in my understanding of God and his ways. Bottom line, I get my eyes of off me and my "inadequacies" and "fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith," trusting Him to lead me into all truth. I choose to wait on
God to "complete his work in me," and consciously opt for praise and thanksgiving for the spiritual life and growth He has given me thus far. I find that being faith focused is a better way to really live life than staying down in the pit of despair and hopelessness.

My Worth to God in Public Is What I Am With Him in Private

The title of this blog is actually a quote from Oswald Chambers. I keep it on my desk. It sums up nicely the essence of Jesus teaching in today's reading. Jesus with force and directness calls out the religious leaders for their hypocrisy of teaching one thing but living another. He warns his followers to obey God's law when the leaders teach it, but not to live or desire to be as the Pharisees and other religious leaders actually lived. On the outside they had the appearance of "righteousness" and living a "good life," when in reality they held their own opinions higher than God's and they weighed the people down with these false teachings. On the inside, they were filled with greed, hate, unfaithfulness. Since this was the true condition of their life, they were stingy toward God when it came to worshipping Him through tithes and offerings and they regularly manipulated the people for their own selfish purposes. Jesus warns that these supposed righteous leaders will incur a stricter judgment. It is a good reminder to me: What we are on the inside, our heart attitudes and thoughts, will direct what we do on the outside, therefore, I desire God to show me daily the true state of my heart. I desire for Him to clean the inside of me first. When I invite Him to do that then the "outside" or my public life will reflect true righteousness. My "worth," to God will be seen as He is glorified by the actions of my life because my actions will match my words. Lord, always show me where I am living, "Do as I say and not as I do," and lead me to the place where I live and can say to others, "Do as I do."

No Room to Wiggle

I love that in today's reading, Jesus leaves "no room to wiggle" when it comes to his authority. The smartest, most well read leaders of the day, could not "trap" Jesus into saying something that would get him in trouble with the government of the day. Not only that, his wisdom was so spot on, everyone was amazed and those whose hearts were soft and repentant, praised him and believed in him. Those who did not want to bow to him and relinquish their temporary places of authority made plans to kill him. Love him or kill him. I choose the first, how bout you?

A funny thing happened . . .Friday, Oct 22, 2010

Funny thing happened on the way to the altar today (Alter = practicing the spiritual discipline of connecting with God through reading His word.)   After writing two days ago that I want to spend time with God each day before I watch tv, eat, go online, etc., this morning I totally forgot. Didn't remember till late this afternoon when I went on my computer. I fell asleep on the couch last night and didn't sleep very well all night. I woke this morning to the TV on and just fell into old habits of channel surfing. So, just got to the online reading tonight. But, wow, am I glad I did. It totally pierced me. I must say, I find both parables of Jesus challenging. Far too often, I am like the disciples, wanting position and recognition before Jesus and too often forgetting his great work on my behalf which puts all my "work" in proper perspective. God owes me nothing, but I owe him everything.  Ann

Ouch! Me a Pharisee? Thursday, Oct 21, 2010

I am struck by a couple of things from today's reading, but most of all that I can see myself in the remarks of the Pharisee's to Jesus, always looking for an easy way out of following God . . . "Moses said it was ok to divorce, right?" For me that sounds like, "Hey Jesus, it's ok for me to bail on relationships that get messy, right? You don't want me to stick it out with people who hurt me, disappoint me, betray me, do you?" Or the rich man who felt he had kept all the commandments and done every good thing a person could do and asked," What good thing do I need to do to get eternal life?" How surprised he must have been when Jesus went straight for the heart of the matter and said in effect,  "You must do the impossible," knowing that true "goodness" or "righteousness" such that this man proclaimed he had, only comes from God. So, for this man, what he needed to do was to surrender his "manufactured" path of righteousness and choose God's, which in this case meant selling all he had and giving it to the poor. Jesus knew the man could only do that by the power of God at work him. I know that for me, often I am just like the rich man. I am willing to follow Jesus if it is comfortable, if it doesn't disrupt my world to much, if it seems "reasonable" to me or if I can do it on my own.  So, this morning I'm asking God to lay bare in me any and all of the hidden conditions of my heart, for I desire to be a fully sold out, devoted follower of Jesus.

Blurry eyed but here! Wednesday, Oct 20, 2010

A bit blurry eyed this morning. I told God that I as an act of worship I want to read His word and listen to and talk with Him, before I do anything else each day . . . so no TV, eating, showering, email, computer, etc. until I sit down, pull out my Bible and turn to our daily reading. So, where did He take me this morning? To the invitation to be all out, full throttle in worship of Him. I want to be like the one leprous guy who turned back to praise Jesus for healing him, not the 9 others who went on their way.  Ann

Discomforted by Jesus Tuesday, Oct 19, 2010

Day two. Left my computer at the office, but had my paper copy of the daily reading, so got up this morning, grabbed my Bible and journal flipped to Luke 14 and John 11. I was challenged by Jesus . . . "whenever you throw a feast invite the homeless, the poor, the blind," those who can't give me anything in return . . . and I thought about our Thanksgiving feasts and I realized that I am more like the Pharisee's than I care to admit. This cost of discipleship Jesus speaks of pushes hard in the face of my comfort, my pleasures, MY LIFE, as I want to live it. Me, my and I seem to be my operative words. I would rather not be discomforted, I would rather be in control than completely surrender my life to the life Christ offers me. Ouch! It hurts to see how much growing I need to do.

So, how is God stirring your soul in the readings so far? Ann

Let the Reading Begin! Monday, Oct 18, 2010

 Hey folks I thought I would start us out here for our online discussion and place to encourage one another regarding reading through the Bible in a year. You will also find this on Collage's facebook group page.  Since everyone wanted to grow in the spiritual discipline of connecting with God through reading His word and interacting with Him as you read we thought we would use this online Bible reading program.  Click on this link and you will be taken to the site.

One Year Bible Online

When you go there on the left side you will find the Chronological reading link. Click on the month and when it pops up, scroll down and find the day of the month it is, and click on the day and the reading will pop up. You can set the default Bible to be whatever version you want and you can read it in parallel versions. Also, there are commentaries you can read too if you want more. On the left side of the page you will also find a link that will let you print out a paper copy of the whole year of reading through the Bible chronologically so you can put that in your Bible or journal and use it when you don't want to read online. 

So, here are my comments on today's reading and the "spiritual discipline" of communing with God through spending time in his word, listening to him and talking with him. I got up this morning, to do this reading, just generally commune with God and send out this information - blog. I was blurry eyed, and tired, yet I couldn't sleep anymore because I had a sense of anitcipation of meeting with God and starting out on a new adventure. That lasted for all of about 2 minutes into the reading, when I realized I hadn't really heard - connected- comprehended a single word of what Jesus was saying in John 10. I think I read the words "and sheep hear his voice" about 10 times, before I woke up!

So, I stopped myself, laughed at myself with God, and said, "forgive me Father, I fell right into the "I got to check this devotional reading box, so I can get on with my day trap and it only took me 2 minutes to fall!" Then I said, "Father, would you lead me, teach me, guide me, help me to know you better, to know myself better, become more like you Jesus, as a result of reading this passage." Then I proceeded on to read. I had to stop myself like that a couple of times, slow down, focus, and reconnect with God. Whats funny about all this, on Saturday I was talking to someone telling them about how I wanted to grow more in discerning God's voice in talking to me. I even alluded to this very passage! Well, bottom line, for me, as I pushed on through the sleepy distractedness, I found myself reading more than just this mornings reading. I went back and read a chapter before the ones listed here because I wanted to understand the context of what was happening in these chapters. So, all I have to say is . . . Keep On Keeping On! Ann